Sometimes there are moments when I'm ashamed of being a woman.

No, not those awkward times when a monthly visitor arrives the same day I wear my brand new white trousers.

Or the time I was 26 and woken up in some teenager's room in Kensington to the sing song of his mother calling breakfast (the single bed should have given it away). Or even the time I was caught driving by an ex's house three times. By his new girlfriend.

These shameful events pale in comparison to FashionFantasyLeague.com. It seems that our sorority sisters across the pond have decided to, like, combine fashion and sports, ya. And they, like, pick teams of designers and celebrities and get points every time, the celeb and, like, designers are mentioned together in the press.

This is what college-wide abstinence programmes breed - cheerleaders with too much time on their hands. Ladies, go back to upchucking breakfast and getting felt up (over the top, natch) behind the library stairs. No good will come of this.

Remember, the www never forgets.