But we all want them, don't we? In this increasingly digital age, we have more photos stored on our hard drive than in bound albums. And proper portraits - where, for instance, you call in the professionals and perhaps have a cowboy and denim theme (like an unnamed UJ employee's family did...) are fewer and far between.

Bring them back, we say, not just for the obvious humour value, but because without them, we aren't documenting ourselves. That's why we love artist Robbie Stuart.

Stuart's portraits are gaining international notoriety, especially after appearing on Star Portraits with Rolf Harris, where he painted Mo Molan. Subsequently, he appeared at the Star Portraits exhibition openings where he speed-painted
numerous celebrities.

For the price of a mid-range digi cam (£1,250), he'll do a portrait of you, but we say, gather the family and get one done of all of you as an early Christmas gift for the 'rents. That way, they won't have to frame the drunken ones of you spewing curdled eggnog and rum all over the Christmas turkey. Um, sorry about that, Mum.