Hang a right out of the tube. Get offered some grass. "Oh, alright then". Give the guy twenty quid. Discover that you really have been sold a lump of grass, as in the stuff that grows in gardens of semis in suburbia.

This actually happened to me when I was sixteen. Now I have a guy who comes to the house.

The moral of this story is that, ever since the powers that be took a substantial backhander to shift all the undesirables from Kings Cross to our fair Camden, it really holds nil allure unless you're a goth, tourist or addict and even they, I hear, have been complaining about how standards have slipped in recent years.

But could Camden be on the comeback? Not only does The Roundhouse reopen this month with the acclaimed Fuerzabruta, but Ian Pengelley will be working his magic on the über stylish Gilgamesh in Stables market, an area sorely in need of an eaterie.

Plus - and keep this strictly on the QT - Proud and Power will soon be adding some nouveau rock chic to the locale with a collaboration that'll get every art lush's loins a-ticking.

So get there now. But it should be mentioned that, for anyone seeking an orgy, you'll still have to head a little up the road to Primrose Hill.