Ever been in the company of someone who makes you feel like you've been sitting on your ass all your life? Well, Steve Blonde is one of them.

Young, dapper and directed, as a founder of Fabric, Mr Blonde could have rested on his laurels, and moved to Ibiza to enjoy the good life.

Launching tonight (and opening to members from next Thursday), Amika features a mix of 1970s throwaway decadence (think Michelle Pfeiffer in gold lame in Scarface), meaning there should be good eats, drinks, design and loads of 'beautiful people', who we hope will not all be wearing Jigsaw.

With promises of world-class service, this 'luxury haven' might just be what west London needs - just kidding! It will, however, give High Street Ken a much-needed addition to its list of nightlife destinations.