Urban Junkies London - Tuesday December 18, 2007

I don't have a life; I just work between weddings. Other people's weddings, of course.

Thankfully, I'm at the age where brides are stepping up their game, offering something a little different than the usual cookie-cutter, strapless, white dress/ chicken dinner affair.

I just flew back from the most glorious wedding in Quebec City, Canada. Less than thirty guests meant everyone ate the most fabulous food and got to drink proper wine instead of the usual wedding plonk. And next week, I'll be scoffing pierogies and dirty dancing to Billy Joel's Uptown Girl at a Polish Hall. The bride's theme? "Not waspy." Fabulously chic!

Weddings these days - and marriages - are fraught with anxiety and intrigue. "For better or for worse" seems to mean different things to different people. Many a bride has stumbled over that all-important "for richer or poo*er" line (see, I can't even say it: bad luck).

If you are looking for a little light relief, why not check out Absurd Person Singular? Starring Jane Horrocks, the play explores the lives of three couples over the course of three Christmases and perfectly evokes that competitive, edgy anxiety that certain pairs seem to get around each other. Kinda makes you glad to be spending Christmas alone. Again.

Absurd Person Singular is now playing at the Garrick Theatre

by EC

Curl up in their couple-sized storytelling chairs for a tale from the Southbank's artists in residence. 10am-10pm. Belvedere Rd, SE1. Free.

Delightfully camp piano-led song with healthy dollops of yuletide comedy from David Benson. Bloomsbury. 8pm. 15 Gordon St, WC1. £15.

Culture Calendar picks for today: the last Rakehell's Revels at Café Royal & The Ice Queen @The Brickhouse

The new Rapunzel from BAC & Kneehigh is a heroine of uniquely dreaded proprtions. Southbank Centre. 7:30pm. Belvedere Rd, SE1. £15-28.

Enter the world of the first ever 19th century operatic diva, Maria Malibran at the Barbican. Every 20 mins 1-7pm. Silk St, EC2. Free.

Health & Happiness go all festive with their Bluegrass Bonanza at The Social. 7pm. Little Portland St, W1. Free.

When we think wedding, we think hassle and expense. We don't need to go through the whys of this statement, but it just seems like our lives are busy and expensive enough as it is... Why have a huge ceremony - i.e., a year of stress and family fights - when you could elope instead? And is it us, or are meringues and matchy matchy wedding parties O-V-E-R?

Should you be on our tip, the below are our picks on where to elope to (not Vegas! Or even NYC, although it's a safe 24-hour turnaround option), and how to do it.

Click here to read the full guide.

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