The Shape of Things at The New Ambassadors Theatre May 17-July 3
Pamper them, too. Spring Summer 2004 pet range from Gucci

Is Rover the only one who really loves you? Does Whiskers make your heart melt?

If so, it may be time to give up searching for that perfect human
companion and concentrate on that unconditional love you already get at home. For a nominal fee, a US-based website will marry you and your mutt or moggie.

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Imagery from Robert Wilson music by Tom Waits & words by William Burroughs: Black Rider at Barbican opens. 7:45pm. Silk St, EC2. £10-35. 020 7638 8891 or online.

Tonight Beachclub @ Notting Hill Arts Club is celebrating Norway's national day. Retro rockers Lorenzo provide the soundtrack. 6pm-1am. 21 Notting Hill Gate, W11. £5.

MarryYourPet.com takes animals lovers that one step further in their commitment to their four-legged friends. For US$35, online pastor Matilda, pet and partner's priest will marry you and your pet, provide you with a marriage certificate AND an "I married my pet" T-shirt.

A little confused about the conjugal rights issue? The website makes its position clear. "For the sake of clarity: you are not permitted to have sex with your pet." Heavy petting, on the other hand, is most certainly expected!

The site is still worth a visit for those not planning a trip up the aisle with their canine companion. The site includes a visitor wedding album section and anecdotal love stories that can provide hours of entertainment.

Write us with ideas, feedback and comments, or if you have information about events

Seriously funny Mike Gunn is at Lowdown at the Albany. 8pm. 240 Great Portland St, W1. £6. 020 7387 5706.

Hot prog rockers The Secret Machines @ Barfly. 7:30pm. 49 Chalk Farm Rd, NW1. £7. 08700 600 100 or online.

Charlemagne is at 12 Bar Club. 8pm. 22-23 Denmark Pl, WC2. £5. 020 7209 2248.

"Oliver is my best friend, and saviour. Without him, I wouldn't believe in love," says Carolyn who married her kitty this year.

Good excuse for a hen night, though...

MarryYourPet.com
The pet and people wedding specialists

EC

The Shape of Things at The New Ambassadors Theatre May 17-July 3

Mory 'Yeke Yeke' Kante is at RFH as part of African Music Festival. 7:45pm. Belvedere Road, SE1. £17.50-20. 0870 401 8181 or online.

Last week for Tate Modern's Brancusi show, El Greco at the National Gallery, the Tim Noble & Sue Webster show at Modern Art and for Trick Boxing at Blue Elephant.
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