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Sick of hanging out at your local? Old friends, well, seeming old?

The newest hot clubs seem to be all online. Invitation-only aSmallWorld is proving to have better memberships that the Groucho, Soho House and the old boy list at Eton combined.

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Music, bar & half-off entry to Art of the 60s: Late at Tate Britain 6-9pm. Millbank SW1

Live gig from Plumbline plus electro grooves, DJs, 2-4-1 album offers and free beer at Phonica. 8:30-11pm. 51 Poland St, W1. Free entry.

Painful Creatures freakshow at Grange Park. 9pm. Kilburn High Rd, NW6. Free.

Founded by Erik Wachtmeister (gigolo extrordinaire and son of the former Swedish ambassador to the US) earlier this year, the high flyer club already has a membership that could make PRs pant. The Clintons, Lady Forrester de Rothschild and Euan Blair are members, as are Matthew Mellon, Princess Pushy's son "heartbreaker" Freddie Windsor and, um, Christina Hamilton.

Indeed, the site is rumoured to have half the world's 'aristocracy' signed up, but retaining membership is quite another thing. A group of Swedes were recently given the boot for trying to stalk Naomi C and 350 members (so far) have been asked to leave for not quite meeting desired socio-economic standards.

Write us with ideas, feedback and comments, or if you have information about events

Boat party season is almost up: Two last chances tonight with The Beat Up Intensive Care boat party & Turnmill's Fandango.

Launch party at Whitechapel Project Space for the Xerox Teens' new single. 7.30-9.30pm. 20 Fordham St, E1.

So, what does membership provide? Apart from bragging rights and gold digging, bien sur. The site lists the most popular venues, hotels and restaurants the over 40 cities, ensuring that the smallworld tribe only
socialises with its own kind. Want to know where the crème de la crème feast in St Trop or where to rest your head in Istanbul? It's all at your bejewelled fingertips.

If only you could get in? Or rather, just be happy you can't.

aSmallWorld

EC

Choose a dream

Foreign Muck turns one with Frankfurt's Monza-master DJ T at the Key. 11pm-6am. Lazer Rd, Kings X Goods Yd, N1. £10. Email for guestlist.

Live out your fetish fantasies at the Torture Garden party at Electrowerkz. 10pm-6am. 7 Torrens St, N1. £17. 020 7613 4733. Dress code.

Highly hyped Montreal band, Brit-popish The Dears play at Barfly. 7:30pm. 49 Chalk Farm Road, NW1. £6. 08700 600 100 or here

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