Stella presents After Dark
Too much camp, too little booty for Joe

Now that Spring is most definitely here, it's time to get our arses in gear.

Let's not beat around the bush; there's plenty a sit-up to be done so we can slip confidently into flesh-flashing summerwear. And seeing as all those crazy diets don't work, good old fashioned exercise is the key - which is why we're ditching our gym membership and signing up for a painful course of Bootcamp instead.

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Start off the week sambaing with Caipirinha Appreciation Society & £2 drinks all night at Guanabara. 5pm-2:30am. Parker St, WC2. Free b4 10.

Irish hardshoe dancing from Riverdance at Hammersmith Apollo, W6. 7:30pm. £10-33. 0870 154 4040 or online.

Unabombers & Temposhark at Blowback Mag's live night this eve at Cargo. 9pm-3am 83 Rivington St, EC2. £4.

Notorious Led Zeppelin voice Robert Plant at Royal Albert Hall, SW7 for the Teenage Cancer Trust. 7:30pm. £18-41. 020 7589 8212 or online.

Bootcamp is when you work your arse off in the fresh air with an instructor shouting at you to get your face in the mud and do fifty sit-ups then three circuits of the park. You sweat, you toil, you curse, you push yourself further then you thought you could... and then, weeks later, you marvel at how flat your tummy is (believe me, I did it last summer).

British Military Fitness have been running bootcamps for years in London's parks, and now celebrity trainer Matt Roberts has launched his version so you've plenty of sessions to choose from.

20 years on, the Swing Out Sister duo plays @Jazz Café. 7pm. 5 Parkway, NW1 £14. 0870 264 3333 or online.

Neo soul diva Angie Stone is singing at Forum, NW5. 8pm £25. 0870 264 3333 or here.

State of Undress - luxury lingerie

The hour sessions promise to get you super lean and toned and have fun in the outdoors too. It's a win-win situation, and as the bootcamps are unisex group action you get to meet eye-candy too (if a little sweaty candy).

Sign up, you won't regret it. Well you might, but please don't blame us.

Matt Roberts - 020 7439 8899
British Military Fitness - 020 7751 9742

Stella presents After Dark

Fêted mezzo soprano Sarah Connolly@St John's. 7:30pm Smith Square, SW1. £9-20. 020 7222 1061 or online.

Creative excess: Zine night Mache at NHAC. 6pm-1am. 21 Notting Hill Gate, W11. £5

Last week of Katy Dove at Pump House, Hippity Hop at Lyric Hammersmith, Tomoko Takahashi at Serpentine and Andre de Dienes at Atlas.

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