Unique Hotels for Global Nomads
Roll over and hide. American Homeland Security

Anyone nervier since 'Suicide Tuesday' switched slots and meaning can relax this weekend, safe in the knowledge that Red24, a security bureau that shoots straight at the heart of middle class neurosis, is close at hand.

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Six takes on the Big Smoke at ICA: London In Six Easy Steps. 12-8pm. The Mall, SW1. £1.50. 020 7930 3647.

The Cuban National Ballet is at Sadler's Wells. 7:30pm. Rosebery Avenue, EC1. £10 -45. 0870 7333 900 or here.

Vanbrugh Theatre hosts the author of The Hours Michael Cunningham. 7pm. Malet St, WC1. £6. 0845 456 9876.

For £80 per year, Red24 will keep you updated on any global security threats - just to remind you of the present dangers, their website displays a rollcall of gems such as, 'tanker escapes pirates off Somalia' and 'Ivorian rebels refuse to disarm', although 'sleazed on in Torremolinos' or 'swindled in Marrakech' might have greater resonance for many UK travellers.

They will also save you if you are taken hostage, captured by terrorists or involved in a siege or natural disaster. 24 hours, anywhere in the world (except for those taking their annual leave in Afghanistan, Haiti or Iraq, who'll still be rescued but have to cough up for expenses - no win/no fee, anyone?).

The Nutcracker and more at Tchaikovsky night at Royal Albert Hall, SW7. 7:30pm. £6+. 020 7589 8212 or here

Indie veterans Yo La Tengo play at Koko tonight 7:30pm 1 Camden High Street, NW1 £14. 0870 264 3333 or here

The Secret Garden August 19-21 2005

They also offer specialist advice on issues such as detecting Nigerian banking scams and finding yourself amidst a throng of football hooligans. A situation easily assuaged by reminding your assailants that you'd sooner spend the next five years in purgatory than set foot in a place such as Liverpool.

And who said that no one could ever profit from terror?

Red24
Annual membership for £80

Unique Hotels for Global Nomads

Two quintets @Barfly: Danes Diefenbach as well as synth rockers Roland Shanks. 7pm 49 Chalk Farm Rd, NW1. £6. 0870 264 3333 or online.

The Summer Screen open at Somerset house with Close Encounters of the Third Kind 9pm. Strand, WC2. £12.50. 0870 154 4040 or here.

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