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For weeks you've fed the Christmas pud with more booze than granny's liver can take; you've bought the luxury crackers with the same disappointing gifts inside; loaded the iPod with those unbearable songs by Slade and Wizard.

Public Disorder art, film and camp performance night at Black Cap. 9:30pm-2am 171 Camden High St, NW1. £4.

Joe and I at The Kings Head Theatre
New on Urban Junkies website

FAME: James Jessop & Stella Vine collaborative paintings at This Way Up Gallery. 6-11pm. 1st Floor Dragon Bar, 5 Leonard St, EC2. Free.

You've even somewhat anally calculated with military precision your preparation and cooking timing on the day. So what's left for to do?

If like me you were cruelly neglected by your mean heartless parents and not sent to Swiss finishing school to learn how to be a real lady then the tree decoration workshop at the Fashion and Textile Museum in London is for you.

Sidebar sponsored by Somerset House Ice Rink

Larry Clark photos showing at Sprüth Magers Lee. 10am -6pm. 12 Berkeley St, W1.

A day-long session, to which you're invited to bring old ornaments, recycled cards to transform, in Blue Peter style, into something shiny and new.

And if you're really lucky, some nice person will teach you to make Swedish wool Santas and jaunty fabric bunting, while stuffing you with yummy Christmassy refreshments. And all for the bargain price of £20.

Xmas Workshops on Dec 10 and 17 from 11am-3pm
Fashion & Textile Museum, 83 Bermondsey St, SE1
£20. Limited spaces - book on 020 7407 8664

Unique Hotels for Global Nomads

Maharishi sample sale at its showroom. 10am-7pm. 2-3 Gt Pulteney Street, W1.

Secret Sample Sale at The Well Gallery. 12-7pm. Brick Lane, E1. £1. 020 8348 1987

Happy, funky pop from The Shortwave Set at Luminaire. 7:30pm. 311 High Rd, NW6. £8. 08700 600 100 or online.
Richard Phillips new at White Cube. 6-8pm. Hoxton Sq N1.
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Joe and I at The Kings Head Theatre
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