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5th Berlin Biennial
Weekend Guide
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Rain, rain, go away, come again some other day, on some other continent, a million miles from here. You never know. It might work. And even if it doesn't, with a weekend full of everything from Mucha March helping launch the new Proud to Prohibition-style martinis in teacups, I suppose a few April showers are hardly the end of the world.

This weekend's UJ guide is brought to you together with the ten-day artistic institution that is the Berlin Biennial for Contemporary Art. Entitled 'When Things Cast No Shadow', this Biennial is the 5th of its kind, and promises to be the usual, delightful spectacle as it draws together countless artists from around the world for a series of exhibitions, workshops, discussion, and performances.

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FRI MUCHA MARCHA SAT ELEPHANT MAN SAT PROHIBITION SUN ISSUE 003
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FRIDAY
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danceLondon Burlesque Festival: Battle Royale
If you've ever caught a Tournament of Tease, then you'll know just how cringing it can be to behold a bunch of slightly nervous (or worse, over-zealous) amateurs peeling of their clothes, bludgeoning any burlesque sensuality in a blushing flourish of flapping nipple-tassels. But when the London Burlesque Festival hosts a battle for the best burlesque newcomer, expect an entirely different affair of cheeky outfits, feathers, fans, and nothing but class. Hopefully.

Time:
6:30pm
Place:
Bush Hall, 310 Uxbridge Road, W12 7LJ
Cost:
£17.50 adv.
Info:
londonburlesquefest.com

musicMucha Marcha at Proud
It's day two of the all new Proud's four-day weekend launch (and yes, they do indeed have more than one toilet this time), and tonight it's down to the Mucha Marcha brigade to get the party going. Like that's going to be hard. In addition to their usual DJ malarkey, expect live sets from The Rumblestrips, Yoav, The More Assured, Heartbreak, and Aynzli Jones.

Time:
8pm-2:30am
Place:
Proud Galleries, Horse Hospital, Stables Market, NW1 8AH
Cost:
£10, £8 before 9pm
Info:
atproud.net

filmLost Highway
Whilst I remain a card-carrying member of the Holy Church of David Lynch, there have been occasions where even my faith has been challenged. Eraserhead, for example, never did it for me. And really, what the Hell was Inland Empire? But then I think of Twin Peaks and Blue Velvet, and everything becomes clear. Yet, even I would never have thought of adapting Lost Highway for the stage. But since Olga Neuwirth has, darn do I want to see it.

Time:
7:30pm
Place:
Young Vic, 66 The Cut, SE1 8LZ
Cost:
£30
Info:
youngvic.org
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HEAR Don't Panic
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Captain Strange
For many people ska is a bit of a dirty word nowadays, but add some indie melodies and a pinch of surrealism and you have Captain Strange - a different breed of ska altogether. Download their track, Dressed to Kill, and follow them down to a street circus in King's Cross, where they talk about nudism, nuclear lesbians and their favourite cat food.

Info:
Click here
Hear
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5th Berlin Biennial
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SATURDAY
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theatreThe Elephant Man
John Merrick stands before the collected presence of London's premier surgeons. As a young physician describes each of his disfigurements, Merrick in turn adopts them, one by one, slowly contorting and dissolving into the famed freak of Victorian London, the eponymous Elephant Man. An incredibly touching Tony-winning tale (which went on to inspire Lynch's Bafta-winning film) it is also a feat of physical theatre that comes highly shouldn't be missed.

Time:
2:30 & 7:45pm
Place:
Richmond Theatre, The Green, TW9 1QJ
Cost:
£15 adv.
Info:
theambassadors.com

nightlifeProhibition
Building on their Prohibition Re-Bourne nights at Bourne and Hollinsworth, the Prohibition 1920s folks are expanding on their charmingly vintage success. Moving onto pastures more stately, all those flapper dresses and arm-banded bar-keeps, late-night Charlestons and teacups of gin will now call the dilapidated grandeur of this Portland Place mansion home. Perhaps not an original theme, but let's face it: when else are you going to pull off those feathers?

Time:
8pm-2am
Place:
33 Portland Place, W1B 1QU
Cost:
£15 adv.
Info:
prohibition1920s.com

musicFiesta
Like some beleaguered Pavlovian hound, I get all anxious whenever I hear the word 'fiesta'. The merest mention, and I am once more a young man on the Spanish coast, trapped in a rollercoaster of sangria, flirtatious barmaids, humourless boyfriends, lost apartment keys, and the worst hangover of my life. Thankfully, this monthly Fiesta (shudder) involves none of the above, and is in fact a night of cracking DJs, cake and aerial pole dancing.

Time:
8pm-4am
Place:
333, 333 Old Street, EC1V 9LE
Cost:
£10, £5 before 11pm
Info:
profile/gofiestanosiesta
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CONSUME
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Iittala
Our favourite new Finnish thing since Nokia (who knew?) is now available in London. Go and check out the glass birds and the Taika (Finnish
for magic) collection of crockery, featuring eerie Scandinavian forests and wide-eyed owls. As Monty Python said, "Finland, Finland, Finland, it's the country for me"

Info:
Click here
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SUNDAY
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otherThe Olympic Torch
The escalation of the China-Tibet situation is certainly and rightly leaving quite a scar on this year's Olympics, and no doubt there will be a few words said on the matter as the Torch passes through London, en route to Beijing. But, as it heads through the city, the Southbank is gathering together its Artists in Residence and guests in a festival of dance, puppetry, performance and song to celebrate the Olympics as an international, multicultural institution.

Time:
1:30pm
Place:
Southbank Centre, Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX
Cost:
Free
Info:
southbankcentre.co.uk

music2Artist Portrait: Midori
The London Symphony Orchestra's resident violinist, Midori (really, who would name their child after a noxious green melon liqueur?) is the centre of the LSO's current series of artist focus programmes. Here she plays the first piece that ever really convinced me of the virtuous power of the violin, Britten's beautiful, stirring, if occasionally sombre Violin Concerto, followed by Brahm's second symphony.

Time:
7:30pm
Place:
Barbican, Silk Street, EC2Y 8DS
Cost:
£6-£30
Info:
barbican.org.uk

nightlifeiSSUE 003
That's right, you crazy kids, it's the third issue of Jodie Harsh and Scottee's live, ever-upredictable magazine/installation/club/event/beast, Issue. It's the 'Young, Gifted, and Half-Black' issue this month, with Nova Dando and Smash and Grab's G.O.D. joining the editorial/hosting brigade. Whilst I'd like to tell you what to expect, this is Issue we're talking about, and the only way to find out is to get your arse down there.

Time:
8pm-1am
Place:
Electricity Showrooms, 39a Hoxton Sq, N1 6NN
Cost:
Free
Info:
issueclub.blogspot.com
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OGLE
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Abercrombie & Fitch
Can't get enough of those beautiful Abercrombie & Fitch people-bots, with their rippling virility and sports equipment? Grab the limited edition A&F quarterly entitled "Return to Paradise," and you can take Bruce Weber-shot nakedness home with you. Well they were nude in the Garden of Eden, so why not.

Info:
40 Savile Row, W1S 3QG, £50. Over 18s only
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5th Berlin Biennial
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EAT
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Langan's Brasserie
There aren't many restaurants in London with quite the history of Langan's. Over the past 32 years its deco entrance and gents' club interior has welcomed some of the most well-known rabble-rousers to have walked the city's streets. It's owners weren't exactly without colour either, Seventies bon viveur Peter Langan originally opened the brasserie with Michael Caine.

Co-owner Richard Shepherd has been responsible for keeping the place alive and kicking for the last twenty odd years (some would say more) but decided recently that it could do with a bit of a spruce-up. In just four weeks Langan's has been treated to new floors, a new kitchen and even more art on the walls (adding to the Hockneys, Freuds and other originals already there) but has retained the same eccentric old-school vibe it has become famous for.

Dine on snails with bacon and onion in brioche or warm potted shrimps with tarragon butter, grilled lemon sole or beef en croute (if it happens to be a special that day) and wash down with a good Claret.

Times might have changed and restaurants with them but Langan's remains reassuringly redolent of another, naughtier, era.

 

Hours:
Mon-Fri 12.15-11.45pm / Sat 7pm-12pm
Place:
Stratton Street, W1J 8LB
Cost:
£45
Web:
langansrestaurants.co.uk
Book:
020 7491 8822

The Grill at Browns Hotel
Mark Hix is the latest unstoppable chef director/restaurateur to be sweeping across London and beyond. Having left Scott's and hung up his Caprice Holdings apron he's been a busy boy, with Hix Oyster & Chop House opening at the end of this month (and already the place on every hip foodie's lips) followed by an Oyster & Fish House in Dorset before the year's up.

But the latest spot to have received his midas touch is The Grill at Browns Hotel, shortly to be renamed The Albemarle in recognition of Hix's arrival. Under his direction chef Lee Streeton turns out exceptional poached Scottish langoustines with mayonnaise, beef wellington and slow-braised oxtail, with zingy Sussex Pond Pudding for desert, but there are less hefty offerings too if you're not up to a full-on British classics ambush.

Dangerously comfortable sage green banquettes and dark wood panelling add to the feeling that lunch could turn into tea and then dinner and the slick service doesn't dissuade you from this.

Loiter a while and you're sure to see some of Hix's Britart and chef pals strolling in too. Everybody, grab your pom-poms; 'Go Team Hix!'

Hours:
Mon-Sat 7-10.30am, 12-3pm & 6-10.30pm / Sun 7.30-11am, 12.30-3pm & 7-10.30pm
Place:
Albemarle Street, W1S 4BP
Cost:
£50
Web:
roccofortecollection.com
Book:
020 7493 6020
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Weekend guide by AC, food reviews by SL

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