Thursday: head straight to the Stag and Dagger. Friday: struggle through work, then on to typography, fan-fluttering nudity and un-stoned ponies. Saturday: choral beatboxing and mythic post-mullets. Sunday: love, camper vans, reggae, and maybe build a conservatory extension for kicks. There. Weekend sorted.

This weekend's guide is brought to you in association with Last Stop, a photographic exhibition of the Routemaster Bus by Ralf Obergfell. Capturing images during the bus' last eighteen months of service, it pays tribute to its place as a London icon. With Boris' proposed ban of the bendy, we might be seeing more of these old fellas around town.

Random Presents… Typography Pub Quiz II
In what year was Helvetica made (double points for the film and the typeface)? What typeface is Paul Renner most remembered for? What does Grotesque mean? Who invented Arial? What was Zapf's first name? Which is acute, and which grave? What do you call that funny hat thing in pâté? Do you really care?

Burlesque Soirée
Well shave my legs and call me grandma, those Hurly Burly girls have done it again! Miss Polly Rae provides an evening of burlesque wonderment set against the Art-Deco backdrop of the grand Gore Hotel. With a finale featuring a metre-high bottle of champers, the first 100 dressed in burlesque get a free glass of the stuff. Geez Louise I'm there.

Hoxton Pony Opening Weekend
There's always been something suspect about My Little Ponies - who gets an ice cream cone tattooed on their butt and calls themselves Blue Belle? Someone who's high, that's who. But after a little copywright-induced rehab, Shoreditch's new Stoned Pony is going cold turkey, launching this weekend instead as a local pony, for local people, with the likes of Trevor Jackson in the DJ saddle.

Shlomo and the Vocal Orchestra
The most noise I can make with my mouth is generally considered too much for the UJ office, and it's just words. And a bit of whining. Thank God I can't beatbox like Shlomo, who returns with a special concert featuring his eight-piece ensemble, The Vocal Orchestra and a 40-strong chorus. Shlomo would so hire me.

Myth
Alienation, faith and egos: not exactly the easiest stuff to deal with on a Saturday evening (without a litre of gin and an ex on the phone), but to see a whole new dance-form, mixing a bunch of contrasting genres and a performance inspired by Japanese Manga and ancient Italian music makes one hell of a stage I'd rather not miss.

Mulletover
Sun? Check. Sand? Check. The mighty roar of electro, techno and disco beats pumping across the Croatian Coast? Check. To launch their August escapade 'Weekend on the Adriatic', the crazy kids at Mulletover have teamed up with DJs Dan Ghenacia, Geddes, and the Hon. Stuart Patterson, along with the Balearic timbres of Disco Bloodbath and Ilija Rudman. I've got my bag packed, have you?

Romeo & Juliet
"But soft, what light from yonder camper van window breaks? It is the East, and Juliet is the fit caravan site attendant." That's right folks, the lauded touring production of Romeo and Juliet is back at its home, re-imagined by Elizabeth Freestone, and starring the ever enigmatic camper van. Oh, and some actors.

Gregory Isaacs
With relationship woes, there are times when even a family size tub of Ben & Jerry's and a bottle of bourbon just don't cut it. That's when you trade the self-abuse for a bit of Gregory Isaacs and his soul-soothing reggae classics. We're not saying you'd need to be heart-broken to appreciate him. Just that it's, you know, an option.

Des Res Public Weekend
Ok, you have 20 minutes. Use it wisely because not many architects will give you one to one advice on everything from loft conversions to paint choices, without wanting anything back. Especially when they get to show off their skills afterwards at the free Architects and Their Homes talk by experts of the architectonic variety.