In the weekend that sees Regent's Park overcome with all things gastrofestive, we thought it best to offer some alternatives to help shake of the gained pounds this weekend. So whether you opt for a spot of nooky, some non-stop dancing or merely shifting all that excess fashion you've acquired, we're quite sure the appetite will be worth it.

This week's guide is brought to you in association with Tiffany & Co. Bedazzling, elegant, whose little blue boxes are nigh on legendary, the jewellery house will always be, in the words of Holly Golightly, "the best place in the world, where nothing bad can take place."

City of London Festival
This giant playground we call the City deserves an occasional show of love, wouldn't you say? And with global-local lit, film, music and exhibitions galore, now you can celebrate our cosmopolitan big-smoke by joining the Bombay Baja Brass Band and circus for a prom; or better still, book now for a bevy of orchestral talent at St. Paul's. London, don't ya just love it?

Killing Kittens
An elitist, masked, erotic party in a secret, swanky hotel somewhere in London? All sounds rather Eyes Wide Shut if you ask me. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing. And since the attendees are discriminated, sorry 'filtered' by aesthetics, interests and general attractiveness, and with a distinct ban on single men, expect this to be a night, if nothing else, to remember.

Minimal Carnival
When put together, the words 'minimal' and 'carnival' sound a tad oxymoronic to me, but Berlin DJ Mutlu of Sender Records and resident Louis Guilhem are guaranteed, as ever, to flesh it out with the weight of techno. Featuring Mikko and Beckenbauer from 'Made In', you'll be silently humming the chorus 'lets get mini-mal, mini-mal' before you know it. Or maybe not.

The House of Viktor & Rolf
Suspending women on wires, covering them in brass bells, and creating a human Russian Doll - well, they do say fashion is a circus. Dutch design duo Viktor & Rolf's surreal and often theatrical collections from the past 15 years are showcased in their first UK exhibition, alongside their upside down Milanese boutique and H&M collaboration - surely the greatest circus of all.

Exhibition Road Music Day
I've always had a perverse talent for aural versatility. Really. I can listen to at least seven different sources of music simultaneously without going insane. Which will prove quite handy today, when everyone from MIA to Amadou and Mariam plays down on Exhibition Road, via some Cuban guitar, Chinese folk, blues, electronica, throat singing, indie… Feeling insane yet?

Neon Noise Project
Here's a question: What do you get if you mix a dollop each of neon, sound, and colour in a scrubbed-up Victorian factory, and throw in a hot dash of DJs, from Australia's electro chart-topping Bang-Gang, Bumblebeez of Modular and Boombox's Jerry Bouthier, to a good measure of filthy beats from Trailer Trash? Answer: A night so messy, that you might need a bib.

The Pilgrim's Progress
I often think I could use Three Shining Ones to relieve me of my burdens. Lord Lechery and Madam Wonton on the other hand, can stay well clear - I've had enough bad dates of late. And don't get me started on Delectable Mountains - the last man that called them that got a smack. Who knew Vaughn became such an old perv? An opera full of witty twists and ultimately, moral turns? Ah. No Celestial City for me then.

The Lovebox Boat Party
Aaron Spelling had it right with The Love Boat: passenger scandals, crew flings, and high jinx on the high seas - the hallmarks of a perfect '80s sitcom. While we can't promise the canned laughter to accompany your quips, we still suggest getting on board the Dixie Queen with Groove Armada and Severino of Horse Meat Disco fame for some soap opera worthy action of your own.

Visa Swap Drop Off
There's a Balenciaga cardigan festering in my closet at home, bought on a whim (ok, because the saleswoman told me it was fabulous, and I, by association, was fabulous too) and never worn. However, to sell it on eBay I'd be losing my fabulousness and be left with cold cash, so instead, I plan on swapping it for something equally fabulous, donated by someone, well fabulous. Fabulous. Drop off starts today to collect your points of fabulousness.