Right you lot: out. Go on now, get. I'm not standing for any more of this 'sitting inside in the dark' rubbish. You, me, and a couple of cold beers outside, now.

I don't care whether it's packed outside 93 Feet East with the many, spending the night with Thomas Adès, or the million cracking bands at Lovebox.

There's plenty to head in for in the evenings, but if I catch a single one of you avoiding the sunshine, my will there be trouble.

The First Night of the Proms
You just need to utter the words, 'Night at the Proms' and immediately that gorgeous, RP, middle-class, BBC tingle of joy runs amok over your classical nerves. Snap up one of the last clusters of seats, and settle in for what will undoubtedly be a glorious night of Strauss, Mozart, Beethoven and Scriabin, with a centenary focus on Elliott Carter and Messiaen, and featuring three fantastic soloists.

French Revolution V
It's not as political as it sounds. Trust me. So no smart-ass wielding acrylic pound-shop pistols in Gendarme get-up. Although that might actually be quite funny. This revolution is all about the ferocious double-speed keyboards and slick '80s vocals of Poni Hoax, backed-up by Curry and Coco's post-techno electropunk. All you gotta do is turn up, pay nowt, gyrate and go home wasted. Revolution has never been so easy.

Architecture Rocks
The London Festival of Architecture has been, without a doubt, one of the finest cultural projects to hit our beloved city in years. It has scattered the streets around us with visually arresting structures and a swathe of quirky, architecturally-tinged events, altering the very fabric of the city. And so, this evening, why not bid farewell at this official adieu before the weekend finale launches with tomorrow's Cheapside Market resurrection.

Park Nights
Blimey, architects are a talented lot aren't they? After only six months between conception and completion, several Swiss shipments and giant broken glass panes later, the Serpentine's Summer Pavilion is finally ready for her first nocturnal jaunt. Behold the internationally renowned, bedazzling composer-cum-piano teaser, Thomas Adès, as he whips up a classical frenzy to kicks her off in the cordially spectacular manner she deserves.

Birth of a Nation + Q&A with Jonas Mekas
There's a panoply of things which are essential yet seem invisible to the untrained eye: well-applied make-up, the sun's apparent existence this Summer, alcohol-induced short term memory loss. Turns out avant-garde filmmaker Jonas Mekas feels likewise about the underground activists who gave birth to the burgeoning 'nation' of independent film. His manifesto "we are the cinema" should clear any doubt.

Love Music Hate Racism
Do you absolutely hate racism? Do you thoroughly love music? Furthermore, and perhaps most vitally, do you go weak at the knees for some serious artery melting, ear smothering, gut warbling bass? Then this, my fellow mash-upites, might have been made just for you. Expect everything from grime and dubstep to reggae, rocksteady and some dirty electro naughtiness from the Hyponik brigade. Who needs working ears on Sunday anyway?

Love Box Weekender
You turned your nose up at Glasto (too many stoners, not enough showers) and Camp Bestival (too many families, not enough festival). So how's this: it's local (ish), it's a proper weekender, there's everyone from Hayseed Dixie to Flaming Lips, Love the Bunny are hosting a sexy VIP bit for when you fancy a festival-pamper, and Mulletover are throwing an official monster after-party. Try turning your nose up at that.

Almeida Summer Festival: Theatre of Possibilities
Excuse me, but did I hear you correctly? What is this you say? The life of an eighty-year-old American artist fellow, who liked daubed paint, big canvases, bright colours and graffiti-like gestures is exploded into three dimensions with the premiere of composer John Cage's notational genius and live mezzo soprano Sally Burgess? Hold on, I need to sit down. I'm feeling dizzy.

Chuck Berry
He may be 81, but his charisma and patriarchal reign of rock 'n' roll remains as fresh as it did in 1955. He's still the master of his very own (and oft-pinched) legendary 'duckwalk' move, had his record sent beyond the solar system, and Rolling Stone have rated 'Johnny B. Goode' as the best guitar song of all time. Better see him quick, before the aliens get their hands on him.