Which is a good thing, because doctors make me tearful. I can barely manage a repeat prescription request without sobbing. A bout of tonsillitis once caused me such anguish that a Van Gogh style ear-slashing seemed the only course of action, until my GP deadpanned "I can see you're quite distressed," and wrote my prescription. Nice.

See, doctors are supposed to make our pain go away, not make us feel like snivelling hypochondriacs. My body is a mystery, and not in a John Mayer 'wonderland' way, but more of a 'dear God where has that lump come from and why does this itch?' way. And with news that surgeons may now receive performance-based pay (seriously, now they need an incentive to save lives?), I'm more likely to cry than ever before.