As an adolescent, apparently I was a triumph of packaging over contents. By 21 I was reprehensibly dull, and at 23 cheap and cheerful - before finally settling on a deceptive first impression with contradictory twists and refinements.

So goes my life according to Perfumes: The Guide, a witty repartee of reviews and highly informed opinions on almost 1,500 fragrances by noses in the know, Luca Turin and his wife, Tania Sanchez.

So, in an attempt to inject some cultured sophistication into my more 'mature' years, I'm going old school. Really old school. David Pybus' 'Scents of Time' range (backed by Dragons Theo Paphitis and Peter Jones) claims to reconstruct lost perfumes of the past via archaeology and aromancy. And the trio will be signing bottles tomorrow, so you can smell like Cleopatra, a Pompeiian Garden, or Tutankhamen's tomb, with a famed autograph to complete the package.