London Loves
Aren't outdoor cinemas like, the best thing ever? You and a few hundred others get to make empathetic sounds in harmonious awe, to a sunset backdrop, complete with a warm blanket, a couple of cans and a family pack of M&Ms. So, show your appreciation for our fair city with a few oohs and ahhs under the stars for a string of cinematic treasures.

Poetry International
Poetry has never been my strong point. All opportunities to express myself with eloquence have so far resulted in monosyllabic dross and bodged metaphors akin to Swayze's "She's like the Wind." Avoid my failings, and head to the Southbank and listen to true wordsmiths John Berger, David Constantine and Rema Hammami in conversation, whilst taking in a bit of live music and performance. It's going to be cooler than school, that's for sure.

Cut & Splice
Bringing together more than twenty of the world's top avant-garde contemporary musical performers, Cut & Splice has put together this two-day festival centring around an incredible, unique interpretation of Karlheinz Stockhausen's seminal 1960's opus, From the Seven Days (Aus den Sieben Tagen), set in the deeply atmospheric Wilton's - the oldest grand music hall in the world.

Tipped Chilli Cook Off
Reckon you've got the tastebuds to withstand 10 of the country's best chilli recipes? Well step right up as Tipped take on the Texans in a mighty cook off challenge, with live tastings, prize giving, and music. DJs on the day will be playing a selection of Southern soul, dusty Americana and some Van Halen treats. As if abusing your mouth wasn't enough, now they're onto your ears too. Ouch.

Gay Bingo
If UJ are going to gamble, it's on the gays. No better way to survive these trying times than a bit of ball busting, cabaret crunching, song stamping fun. So join Jonny Woo for this Picasso inspired evening with Ma Butcher calling the numbers and DJ John Sizzle on the decks. Cubism meets two fat ladies? Picasso must be dying to get some of that action.

Breakin' Bread
Ten years in the game and Breakin' Bread's club nights and record label are still going strong. In celebration they're taking it back to their roots and reppin' it B-Boy style with KLP vs Soul Mavericks in battle, live performances from Baila and Joey D, and Barcelona bound DJ Timber for a flavoursome night of hip hop, soul and funk. Who can beatbox the happy birthday song?

National Apple Day
If an apple a day really does keep the doctor away, the NHS will be in short supply this Sunday as apple mania takes over our favourite foodie fair. Expect apple pies, apple cakes and all kinds of autumnal treats as stallholders celebrate this naughty little pomaceous fruit (Adam & Eve and Snow White didn't fare so well, did they?) Just stay away from any scary old women with baskets.

Les Chanson De Piaf
If you can't think of legendary chanteuse Edith Piaf without thinking of Specsavers (thanks to their bastardized ads) then get ye down to an evening sure to put the real pathos and passion back into the performance. Encompassing all of her greatest hits and lesser known works via accordion, guitar, and Lorraine Brunning's stirring vocals, if you find yourself regretting after this, you're short-sighted indeed.

Bloggers Delight
Aren't you good? All that culture, cuisine, art, music, poetry and film this weekend. Any other and you'd be near broken by now after a string of hefty late-nighters. Okay, so we take a little bit of responsibility for that. But still. Congrats. What you need is a reward. Riva Starr, The Photonz, Casper C and Skull Juice, all crammed into the Lock Tavern for eight hours of fun? That should do the trick.