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Weekend Guide

We're getting into the festive spirit here at UJ HQ; tree in the corner, check, tasteful neon flashing xmas sign in the window, check, advents calendar, check, presents Hmm. Perhaps we've not been as good as Santa would have liked this year. So in that vein, continue being bad with alcoholic afternoon tea, stick two fingers up at the season with a beach party, and join Vivienne Westwood in declaring the whole bloody thing a puppet of propaganda. Ha. (PS, Santa, we have many, many mince pies and a cabinet full of booze. Just saying)

This weekend's guide is sponsored by Paul Smith, where you can pick up a signed copy of Barney Bubbles Reasons to be Cheerful and make someone very happy this Christmas; not to mention the myriad of knickknacks to be found at Smithy's Borough emporium, perfect for any empty stockings.

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FRI TEA FOR TWO SAT MIAMA BEACH PARTY SUN RSC ALTERNATIVE CHRISTMAS LECTURE

FRIDAY

OtherTea for Two
The world's most famous herb acts as fuel for this afternoon tea with a difference. No crumpets or cutlery here folks, it's all about the cock-teas. Heads out of the gutter, we're talking blended concoctions of chai, jasmine and earl grey alongside a good dose of spirits served by waiters in 1920's regalia, and beer in brown paper bags for those of you whose pinkies are out of joint.

Time:
5pm - 7pm
Place:
Last Days of Decadence, 145 Shoreditch High Street, Hackney, E1 6JE
Cost:
£9.50 per pot
Info:
thelastdaysofdecadence.com

ArtVia Brick Lane E1
Yup 'tis the festive season, but rather than the streets being paved with sublime lashings of gold or snowflakes that stay, spray paint, graffiti and guerrilla stencilling are increasingly making their incandescent mark. To celebrate this Europe-wide surge in street art, join The Brick Lane Gallery as they stuff their walls with the original canvases, drawings and site-specific installations of nine Italian artists. We may not have snow, but we sure love paint on brick.

Time:
12pm - 6pm
Place:
The Brick Lane Gallery, 196 Brick Lane, E1 6SA
Cost:
Free
Info:
thebricklanegallery.com

TheatreThe Christmas Story
Lest we forget, Christmas is all about the miracle that was Mary's immaculate conception and subsequent birth of our Lord Jesus Christ; so how scared should we be about the news that one of Bistrotheque's trannies has a bun in the oven in the same miraculous manner? Could the next messiah be born in a wheelie bin alongside lipsynching angels and kings dressed as queens? It's the nativity, but not as we know it.

Time:
9pm
Place:
Bistrotheque, 23-27 Wadeson Street, E2 9DR
Cost:
£15
Info:
bistrotheque.com
SHOP

Urban Junkies Gift Guide
Mummy dearest, Daddy darling, brother, sister, lover and that hard-to-buy for friend we all hate; if only Christmas wasn't the time of year for generosity. Let UJ take the sting out of gift giving with our guide to all things festive and fabulous, updated daily for your pleasure. And if you fancy sending something to settle under our rather bereft office pine, please do so. It's looking sad. And a bit bald.

Info:
Click here
COMP
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SATURDAY

NightlifemThe Miami Beach Party
Have you been pouring yourself a stiff margarita, sitting back, and thinking of somewhere not England to the point of prompting an intervention? Well, tonight you can feed your dreams for real at South Beach, Miami, North London. That's right, for one night only grab a steamy beach fix at a 28 degree party of coastal proportions, with Jay Sean, Shortee Blitz and Dialog providing the big hip-hop beats. Get sand in your shoes and love it.


Time:
10pm-3am
Place:
Alexandra Palace, Alexandra Palace Way, N22 7AY
Cost:
£30
Info:
themiamibeachpartylondon.com

NightlifemGrind A Go Go-Christmas Holiday Special
We all love a bit of sleaze, especially the scantily clad, wide-eyed "I'm not sleazy, I'm just wearing a mini-skirt" variety, circa 1963. Whether you make like a Bond Girl or break out the Christmas jumper, get groovy with Miss Anna Kronist's songs in a Val Doonican spirit, festive treats from Leyla Rose and Miss Cherry, and a bevy of candy caned Go Go dancers bopping on a revolving mirrored stage. Dress up and shake it.

Time:
9pm - 2am
Place:
Bethnal Green Working Men's Club, 42-46 Pollard Row, E2 6NB
Cost:
£8
Info:
workersplaytime.net

MusicYou Me Bum Bum Train
Clearly the producers of this bonkers art installation/fairground ride/comedy venue are having a laugh - bum bum train does not sound like the most salubrious way of passing an evening, but hey, who are we to judge. In this wheelchair bound ride you'll be individually rolled through a series of weird scenarios from barber shops to game shows, find yourself crawling under duvets and clambering up ladders to interrupt a couple's sex games. Join in with wild abandon and leave your dignity at the door.

Time:
6pm - 10pm
Place:
Cordy House, 87 - 95 Curtain Road, Shoreditch EC2 3SB
Cost:
£15
Info:
bumbumtrain.com
MAKE A WISH

Covent Garden Wishing Well
The Wishing Well, a distinctive 7.2 metre-high audio-visual art installation will go live on Covent Garden Piazza this Friday. The triangular tower lets visitors speak their wishes into their mobiles and projects them as text across the inner walls in real time. From the bizarre to the personal, the coloured tiles will slowly fill up with the voices of visitors; what will yours say?

Info:
Click here
comp
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SUNDAY

FilmSilent Cinema Christmas Showing
The gloriously indisturbable Silent Cinema is back with a Christmas vengeance and a double bill of 'It's a Wonderful Life' followed by a late show of 'Black Christmas'. Stick on your wireless earphones, sit back, and evade the popcorn rustlers and commentating idiots that keep you out of your local Odeon. Mention UJ when you arrive and enjoy a free Hendricks Gin Punch. Silent night, holy night indeed.


Time:
5pm, 7:30pm, 10pm
Place:
Andaz Hotel, 40 Liverpool Street, EC2M 7QN
Cost:
£10
Info:
silent-cinema.co.uk

talkRSC Alternative Christmas Lecture
We know, these things sell out faster than that life size Labrador puppy all the kids seem to be clamouring for this year (Read: UJ's editorial team, who secretly want an office pet). But with Vivi Westwood presenting the RSC's inaugural alternative festive lecture with her manifesto against propoganda, we can't help but think it might be worth storming the bastille in our pirate boots and trying our luck; resistance to propaganda counts tickets right?


Time:
6pm - 8pm
Place:
Wilton's Music Hall, Graces Alley, off Ensign Street, E1 8JB
Cost:
£5
Info:
wiltons.org.uk

nightCocktail Masterclass
Join acclaimed drinks writer and publisher Simon Difford for a mixology masterclass and grab a signed copy of his new book: Cocktails Made Easy, 500 drinks with 14 key ingredients. After a couple of those bad boys one thing at least will seem easy; spending money. Bravo Selfridges, well played.

Time:
2pm - 5pm
Place:
Selfridges, 400 Oxford Street, W1
Cost:
Free
Info:
selfridges.com
DON'T MISS

Rain Man's final week at the Apollo Theatre
Rain Man's final week at the Apollo Theatre; starring Josh Hartnett in his West end debut and Olivier nominated actor Adam Godley, it's a must see remake of the classic Tom Cruise movie full of charming hilarity, touching moments of humanity between two brothers and erm, Josh getting topless. What are you waiting for?

Info:
Rainman From £57
hear
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EAT & DRINK

Goodman
My idea of hell is traipsing up and down Regents Street (I wouldn't even consider Oxford Street) at any time of the year, let alone Christmas.

But if you must you'll probably need something seriously hearty to help you recover at the end of the day, and one of the few things that I might make an exception for is the promise of a slab of perfectly cooked, well-aged beef.

Goodman, which has just opened on Maddox Street, is an odd concept; it's an American-style steak house - dark wood, banquettes etc - that originated in Moscow, where they have been 'championing the perfect steak' since 2003. There are now seven of them over there so it obviously works for the Ruskies.

So as you've probably guessed, it's all about meat; English, Australian or American (the sweetest and most marbled, according to our waiter) of varying ounces, many of which have been aged in their own on-site dry ageing room, cooked to your exact specifications. There are a couple of non bloody options like Label Anglaise chicken with lemon and thyme and braised beef cheek (not to stray too far from the herd) with spinach and gnocchi, as well as some curiously adventurous starters like salmon carpaccio with passion fruit and tomato seeds, but it's really all about the ribeye.

Just the thing to bring some festive colour back into your cheeks.


Hours:
Mon-Sun 12-11pm (Sun 9.30pm)
Place:
26 Maddox Street, W1S 1QH
Cost:
£45
Web:
goodmanrestaurants.com
Book:
020 7499 3776
Weekend guide by SH & MaM, food review by SL
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