Whisky Live Gala
As Robert Burns put it: "Here's a bottle and an honest friend! What wad ye wish for mair, man?" Or, in the equally eloquent words of Ron Burgundy, "I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly." And with masterclasses, tastings, and of course a dram or three for friendly consumption, this two day whisky love-in sounds like heaven - with tonight's evening gala clearly the peaty icing on the Scotch cake.

Jonny Woo: Remix
The latest show from Mister Woo continues his inimitable foray into the world of rap and rhymes with a new single, 'FAGGOT', and remixes of his spoken word. After the fabulous fashion palooza that was 'The House of Blue Eyes Show' this LFW, the brainchild of one 'Johnny Blue Eyes', we'll catch you down at the Bistro, if you're not quite ready to settle back down to normal Joes (and Jonnys) just yet…

This week's ORIGINAL pick: The Rain Emperor
Even without the original rumoured plan of having it pour with rain indoors (can't think why that was canned, can you Mr Health & Safety?), this stirring installation is still an absolute must. Taking as its starting point the late composer Robert Jacob's fascination with rain, this site-specific production reinterprets his various scores into vast multisensory performances by the likes of The Elysian Quartet, Aste Amundsen, and the inimitable Scottee.

Prohibition
It feels kind of right to be hiding decadence at the moment, sneaking expensive purchases out of shops in brown paper bags and hiding bottles of the good stuff on the back shelf. So throw in a little Charleston, and some gramophone DJs and flapper girls into the mix, and you've got yourself a nice little illegal shindig, 1920s style. See, recession doesn't have to mean literally depression.

Kinetica Art Fair
Tired of canvases that do sweet f.a., expecting you to do all the work for them? Of sculptures that just sit there like a bag of dead goldfish? Maybe you want something more, I don't know, active for your art buck. And besides, what's a weekend without a few pole-dancing robots, some man-eating installations, and a little subliminal mind control? The National Portrait Gallery will never seem half as interesting again...

Blogger's Delight
You've got to envy the Blogger's Delight boys, haven't you. I mean, a full two months for post-NYE recovery? Jeez. Sure, we could do with a break after all our LFW shenanigans. And were we to just, you know, not turn up to anything till, say, April, there could be worse ways to start our "recovery process" than this - the first Sunday session of the year with Casper C, Skull Juice, and all their mischievous kith.