Land of Kings Festival
All hail the Kings of alcohol, music, food and festivities - for they have spread their merciful bounties at our feet. No jokers, just locally-sourced, Dalston talent taking up residence in the area's finest pubs and clubs for Thursday and Friday. Tonight's acts include Allez Allez, ColouringIN, and Le Vagabond Bugaloo, whilst all wristband holders will receive money off their bills at selected restaurants. Let them eat cake, indeed. And beer.

Cindy Sherman
No doubt you were as gutted as us after seeing all the awesome new Sherman stuff plastered across magazine covers, articles chatting oh-so enthusiastically about her first European exhibition of new work since '07 - only to find out that it was in Berlin... Sure, a little weekend trip to the Fatherland would've been fun but this makes life a whole lot easier (and cheaper).

Matt Horne Presents… Session Vol. 1
Sure it's an easy way to make a bit of extra cash in these hard times. Henry Holland does it and so does Farris with Marriage - so why wouldn't a lovely lad like Gavin and Stacey star Matt Horne give it a go? Exactly. Horne's new monthly kicks off in Hoxton's newest basement tonight, and expect the finest indie/electro/trash and no doubt a few famous faces - both behind and in front of the decks.

This week's ORIGINAL pick: People Are Germs
When I was a struggling academic, bursaries were what kept us hard-up intellectuals afloat. Now, even the cool kids get the helping hand. Handpicked by top industry-honchos to win £10k from Smirnoff Original Nights, People Are Germs are throwing the mother of all rollerdisco mash-ups. plumping up some of that cash to pull in top guest DJs, bands, and, erm, a lot of rollerskates.

Liberty of London Sample Sale
What's not to love about Liberty's deliciously luxe own-brand, Liberty of London? Classic scarves, quirky jewellery and must-have handbags in a variety of timeless prints (Hera, Ianthe - we lust) and quality materials make this one of our top guilty pleasures. And now you can get your hands on select pieces at up to 90% off by visiting the covert-sounding 'East Atrium Stairwell'.

Naughty Paris Guide Book Signing
There you are, wondering the streets of gay Paris, desperately muttering to some poor French furniture collector about your beloved bijoux de seins or pompons de nichon or some such while you hunt for an authentic Louis XIII wardrobe to keep your glamorous smalls in back in Blighty. Sound familiar? Then nip down to Shoreditch's frilly favourite, Bordello, for some tea, champagne, and signed, discounted copy of the new Naughty Paris Guide.