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Hmmm if our twitchy events antennae are right, it seems to be the Freshers Weeks’ closing parties this weekend. Ah the days of £2 double vodkas and stealing street signs. But we’re grown ups now aren’t we (ahem), so no Koh Phangan–esque Full Moon parties in Elephant and Castle or Harry Pot–head karaoke in the University of London Union for us. Instead we have a fine offering of sophisticated arts (pole–dancing robots & dirty monkeys), high–brow clubs (slut of the year comps & school style hook–ups) and of course, a civilised Sunday meal to soak up the excesses. Seems some things never change, eh?

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• FRI Grayson Perry   • SAT Jocks&Nerds  • SUN The Big Roast

SHOP
Damien Hirst – Other Criteria

Leaving the formaldehyde in the garage, Damien Hirst’s new exhibition of death–inspired paintings hits The Wallace Collection on the 14th. But if you can’t wait to get your hands on a skull (and are still lusting after the Swarovski encrusted real deal), check out his new colour foil block prints launching tomorrow at Other Criteria. He’ll make a killing.

Other Criteria, 36 New Bond Street, W1S 2RP.

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FRIDAY
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lightlifeGuanabara’s 5th Birthday
It’s half a decade for Brazilian bar supremos Guanabara, and to celebrate, they’re throwing a little carnivalesque shindig. DJ Gilles Peterson will be on the decks playing eclectic acid jazz and elecrtronica grooves, whilst The London School of Samba will provide the live entertainment, with a little capoeira and gafeira performances on the side and a carnival procession and percussion show to boot. Pour the margaritas señor!

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Time:
5pm – 2:30am
Place:
Guanabara, Parker Street, WC2 5PW
Cost:
£10 in advance, £15 on the door.
Info:
Guanabara’s 5th Birthday
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icon Grayson Perry
Grayson Perry’s witty commentary on contemporary life takes on a new form in The Walthamstow Tapestry, the main attraction at this, his latest exhibition. Exploring the emotional resonance of brand names in our consumerist society, Perry has identified iconic companies including Louis Vuitton, IKEA and M&S, stripped them of their logos, and woven them into an intricate tapestry depicting people going about their everyday routines from birth until death.

Time:
10am – 6pm
Place:
Victoria Miro Gallery 16 Wharf Road, N1 7RW
Cost:
Free
Info:
Grayson Perry

COMPETITION
Metro Ski & Snowboard Show

If you cant wait to hit the piste this winter, get down to the Metro Ski and Snowboard Show for food, DJs, loads of holiday inspiration and an après ski bar. UJ has 10 pairs of tickets and a fabulous snowboard up for grabs; simply tell us why you want to go! And, if you want to try your hand at designing your own board and be in with a chance of having it made with Salomon Snowboards, click here.

Metro Ski & Snowboard Show
21st – 25th October, tickets from £5.

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TODAY
The Brick Lane Zoo

If you’re still traumatised by that slip–up in the penguin enclosure or can’t get over the feeling that the monkeys are mocking you – you’ll love this urban zoo, where the animals stay firmly on the wall and you can feed whatever the hell you like. 15 international street and urban artists have spray–painted, pasted and stencilled their favourite furry creatures all over the gallery walls, meaning the only person who’ll be throwing peanut shells, is you.

12pm - 6pm,
The Brick Lane Gallery 196 Brick Lane, E1 6SA

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SATURDAY
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iconJocks & Nerds
We’re hoping tonight’s inaugural event from new men’s style mag, Jocks&Nerds, will be slightly more democratic than highschool ever was. The lounge will be Jock territory, presided over by Maximilian Starbuckle (sorry but if that name doesn’t earn him some playground style bullying we’ll eat our braces), whilst the basement is Nerd central, with DJs Diesel (X–Press 2)and Graham Eves spinning Philadelphia soul, funk and Chicago house. There’ll be competitions for the best dressed and a live photography gallery, so make sure Mummy spits and shines your boots before you arrive.

Time:
7pm – 2am
Place:
The Book Club, 100 Leonard Street, EC2A 4RH
Cost:
£5 (Free before 10pm)
Info:
Jocks & Nerds
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UJ Gutterball
We’re already blushing at the mere thought of tonight’s raucous proceedings, which, hosted by Jonny Woo, goes under the header "Have you got what it takes to be the slut of 2010?" Good Lord, we thought that kind of behaviour was saved for the excuse of Halloween costumes. Tonight’s disco debauchery is the last Gutterslut party for a while, so make sure you dress slutty and get it while you can. DJs include East London’s finest – Mikki Most(Trailer Trash), Severino, Dan Beaumont(Disco Bloodbath) and John Sizzle(Gay Bingo), alongside live visuals by Prickstrap (yes, seriously) and a performance of the Miss Crystal Show.

Time:
10pm – 7am
Place:
The Rhythm Factory, 16 - 18 Whitechapel Road, E1 1EW
Cost:
£10
Info:
Gutterball
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TOMORROW
One Foot in The Grove

The Mutate Britain team are back with a 15,000 square foot open air exhibition of Street Art, giant Sculpture and Installations, fully licensed for 1250 people, underneath the West Way Road Bridge. Expect freehand painting, stencils and paste ups on the walls, giant Mutoid sculptures, helicopters, dinosaurs and prancing horses, pole dancing robots and fire–breathing bulls, as well as a seating area complete with bar to take the crazy edge off. Though to be fair, any alcoholic hallucinations you might incur couldn’t get any weirder than this.

2pm – 10pm, 3-6 Acklam Road, W10 5YU. Free.

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SUNDAY
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UJHitchcon ‘09
I am not a trekkie. (Is this a trekkie thing? No? But it says ‘galaxy!’) So this celebration of 30 years of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is a bit beyond me. Apparently there’ll be people in dressing gowns gathering to see Clive Anderson, actor Simon Jones, Andrew Sachs, and free screenings of Douglas Adams’ classic British comedy, as well as the chance to get their hands on the 6th book a day before everyone else, signed by Eoin Colfer. Have to say, with all these pantsless fans about, I’m hardly surprised Marvin got paranoid.

Time:
From 11:30am
Place:
RRoyal Festival Hall, Southbank Centre, Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX
Cost:
£32.50
Info:
Hitchcon ‘09
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UJThe Big Roast
Where would a Sunday be without a roast – but lets face it – few of us manage to get far enough out of our hungover stupours to recreate Mum’s best here in the city. So, join other like–minded stomachs at this, the biggest ever Sunday roast cooked by the likes of Richard Corrigan and Mark Hix. You’ll get a complimentary gin & tonic to start you off, followed by different roast meats, bowls of vegetables, lashings of gravy and rhubard crumble to follow. Best of all? It’s BYOB – so you continue where you left off last night.

Time:
1.5 hour slots between 12pm and 5pm.
Place:
Leadenhall Market, Whittington Avenue, EC3A 3DL
Cost:
£40 / £50
Info:
The Big Roast

BOOK AHEAD
WWF Pandamonium Exhibition

If you haven’t had a chance to check out the WWF Pandamonium exhibition currently on show in Selfridges – now might be a good time to go. Because come Monday, the cuddly little fellas (actually, they’re rather clever re–designs on the trad panda shaped collecting boxes), designed by 16 of the UK’s leading artists including Paul Smith, Tracy Ein and Tom Dixon, will be up for auction. If you fancy attending for a good cause, RSVP to pandamonium@wwf.org.uk.

Pandamonium auction, 12th October from 6:30pm at the Ultralounge at Selfridges.

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Weekend guide by MaM
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