Slut Boutique
The incomparable Gutterslut have hooked up with infamous Dalstonians Twat Boutique (our minds are in innuendo overdrive too, fear not), to put on the ultimate Christmas Ball encompassing club kids, grown up party peeps, and every which sexuality you wish to represent. They’ve even roped in the legendary Har Mar Superstar and Ponystep’s Richard Mortimer to provide the tunes over two floors, with a bit of Per QX, Elliott J Brown and Nic Fisher on the side. Now to decide – are you a twat or a slut?

Peter Jensen Sample Sale
Everyone's favourite bearer of the cutest bunny logo in town is having a sample sale, and we'll be first in line in hopes of bagging anything from THAT gorgeous cruise collection. If bunnies aren’t your thing boys, fear not, as The Designer Warehouse Sale for men also opens today, offering names like D2, Martin Margiela, Costume Nationale and Vivienne Westwood. Check out our sample sale listings for more.

La Belle Epoque
The green fairy is a fickle friend, but my does she bring the fun. If you’ve missed out on the full hallucinogenic experience, or just need a velvet–draped escape, check out this night dedicated to the art of absinthe including classes complete with sugar cubes, Baudelaire recitals and philosophical exchanges to the tunes of Edith Piaf and a bit of Gauloise smoke. Then remember we’re Brits, get hammered on the green stuff and go running naked through the streets. Yep, classy lot us.

The All of Everything
As a final hooray before the Arts Gallery is demolished in early 2010, Mike Ballard is literally embalming the space with art, covering floors, ceilings and walls with his own flamboyant take on art history. Transporting the viewer on a supersonic journey through a galaxy of hypermodern and prehistoric art, The All of Everything merges painted floors and walls and a baroque collage ceiling into one gargantuan installation, ultimately becoming one immersive artwork with you at its centre.

Chrimboodle Christmas Market
‘Tis the time of year to sit at your desk, ignore the incoming calls, and hone your doodle craft as you wait for the next office party to roll round. So if you reckon your artistic skills are as polished as they get, why not head down to Battersea’s doodle bar, have a draw on the walls (and waiters), and pop into the Christmas Market. Stalls will be selling creative present options (just in case your framed sketch of the boss doesn’t quite cut the mustard), whilst indoors mulled wine, a hog roast and DJs will help you reach your inner creative – or child. Meh, potayto, potahto.

The Polar Express 3D
If you never quite got round to seeing Pixar’s UP in splendid, balloon flying 3D, now’s your chance for redemption on a grand scale. The biggest screen in Britain will have you reaching out to touch snowflakes and stroke polar bears in the IMAX 3D screening of The Polar Express. Head to the North Pole and find out if Santa really does exist – jus try not to hop onto his knee in a fit of 3D induced enthusiasm.