Underground Rebel Bingo
What did you do for your 1st birthday? Well if you were anything like the once-fabled Underground Rebel Bingo brigade who are hitting their first annual milestone tonight, it was a fit of “party hats, jelly and hardcore muthaf*ckin Rebel Bingo.” Okay so maybe yours lacked that last part. But you can’t admit that coupled with a tonne of music and dancing it sounds like a great way to go. Plus if you play your cards right, just like your very 1st birthday you probably won’t remember too much of it come the morning.

Öper Öpis
Ah, mime. There is a nasty rumour doing the rounds at the mo regarding yours truly and an experimental mime tour of Paris back in the ‘90s. Obviously I deny it entirely: never did I stand in black man-tights on the balconies of Monmartre performing as an overly-expressive piece of toast… Oh, okay. I did. But so what? Mime isn’t all glass walls, invisible ladders and Covent GarFestivalden statues y’know. As the weird world of Zimmermann & de Perrot and their DJ-driven, mesmerizing Öper Öpis (which opens this year’s London Mime Festival) testify, it can also be explosive, magical and more than a little enchanting. And you dared mock me…

Enron
If you lucked out of getting hold of any tickets for this sell out performance at the Royal Court (or ended up buying your way in at highly inflated prices – how apt), now’s your chance to catch up with one of 2009’s most highly praised theatrical productions. Lucy Prebble’s reimagining of the largest corporate bankruptcy ever to hit the FTSE includes a spectacular light saber fight depicting California’s electricity market, big singing and dancing interludes and the Lehman Brothers portrayed as Siamese twins sharing one trench coat. Satirical, witty and vastly entertaining, it’s a surefire return on your ticket-purchasing investment – oh wait.... where have we heard that before?

White Wedding
What’s that? Santa (or at least his deliciously dashing though not-so-little helper) didn’t get you the ring you were hoping for? Well, fear not wishful one, for those angels of virginal matrimony, glam party frocks and delicious wedding cheese have declared that you shall go to the ball nonetheless. With a wonderfully cringey buffet and fab photobooth on hand, Guest DJ Fearne Cotton and her army of WW residents are on a mission to deliver the best wedding party – with all the disco/motown/‘80s hilarity and none of the hassle of rings and in-laws and all that cr*p – and they don’t like to lose…

London Art Fair
Today is the last to day to catch this 5-day fair drawing the cream of Modern British and Contemporary art, and exhibiting the finest works available right on your doorstep under one roof. Galleries taking part include Atlas Gallery, Cynthia Corbett, Eyestorm and visiting stalls from as far afield as, er, well… Bath. If you’re interested in the next big thing, check out Art Projects which this year includes 25 projects of solo and group displays, pulling in slightly more international talent including artists from New York, Dresden and Munich.

TS Eliot Prize
So what have you done this year then? Eaten: check. Gotten drunk: check. You’ve hit the gym at least three times now. And even though the arduous bus journeys have granted you time to read a lot more – assuming the ES counts – isn’t it about time you put a stamp (even a self-deceiving stamp) of literary intelligence on this decade? By all means end it in a drunken orgy, but it’s kind of polite to start it with some respect. And what’s more respectful than catching this year’s TS Eliot Prize finalists reading from their prize-nominated creations? And if that’s not reason enough, just think how superior you’ll be feeling come Monday…