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Weekend Guide
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August bank holiday is upon us and you know what that means – feathered carnival throngs and sick in the street. So, if you’re as smart as we think you are, you’ll plump for one of the better after-parties (our money’s on ETA and The Paradise), or avoid the mess altogether with a little girly DJ action, some electronic park playtime, and afternoon daydreaming with a slice of cake to make it all go down super sweetly. Basta!

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• FRI Geisha Electronica • SAT LED Festival • SUN The Tempest • MON Carnival Monday

TONIGHT
Erotic

What’s sexier than a hot, steamy tropical greenhouse at night? Join Johnny Blue Eyes and Lara Clifton as they host this totally one-off evening of surrealist performance and exotic adventures in the Barbican’s conservatory (who knew?), featuring Ryan Styles, La John Joseph, The Readers and Lucy Longlegs.

£12. Barbican Conservatory Garden Room, Silk Street, W11 2QA, 7pm-11pm.

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FRIDAY
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iconGeisha Electronica
We love the decadent subterranean den that is The Bathhouse, but we’re still sitting on the burlesque fence – birdcage and all. Which is why we’re excited to see this decidedly non-cabaret style night launch, featuring Ibizan girlcore DJ promoters We Are Geisha. Catch the latest house, disco and techno courtesy of Lottie and her talented friends, Kath Harding, Suze Rosser, Natalie Colemand and Sophie Lloyd. Leave the nipple tassles at home... or actually...

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Time: 11pm-4am
Place: The Bathhouse, 5 Bishopsgate Church, EC2M 3TJ
Cost: £5 before midnight, £7 after
Info: Geisha Electronica
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icon Film4 Fright Fest
Nothing brings together a group of people quite like being scared witless at the cinema. Curled up behind a cushion, hands over your eyes, stuffing popcorn into your terrified mouth. And if that is your cup of tea, then you need to be all over this year’s FrightFest with everything from gore-ridden schlock to artier fear-mongering (eyes peeled – not literally, mind – for We Are What We Are, Mexico’s answer to Let The Right One In) alongside various Hellish talks and distractions. Today’s the last day with tickets available – so go get your ghoul on.

Time 11am-1am
Place: The Empire Cinema, 5-6 Leicester Square, WC2H 7NA
Cost: £50
Info: Film4 Fright Fest
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SATURDAY
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icon Cake Britain
Calories be damned, and head to this art-meets-cake extravaganza at the ever-creative Future Gallery. The popular Miss Cakehead of Cakehead Loves Evil has teamed up with well-known cupcaker Lili Vanilli, who will be Curator of Cake, to bring cake-lovers of London the first Mad Artists Tea Party. With the help of Tate & Lyle, the two sweet-toothed foodies will be hosting an auction at the Future Gallery which will be filled with cake-works by the likes of Stuart Semple, The Futureheads, stenSOUL, Jellymongers' Bompas and Parr, Bea's of Bloomsbury and Michelle Wibowo.

Time: 10am-6pm
Place: The Future Gallery, 5 Newport Street, WC2H 7JB
Cost: Free
Info: Cake Britain
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UJ LED Festival
You have to feel sorry for poor ol’ Vicky Park during the summer… Event after event, festival after festival. Sigh. It’s a tough life being such a perfect outdoor spot in East London. So it is with great respect and admiration for Vicky’s stoicism that we’re humbly jumping up and down like excited teenagers over the prospect of LED this year. Leftfield, Goldfrapp, Aphex Twin, Soulwax, David Guetta, Hed Kandi… Need we say more?

Time: 1pm-11pm
Place: Victoria Park, E3 5SN
Cost: £32 - £85
Info: LED Festival
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SUNDAY
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UJ ETA Carnival Afterparty
Firstly, it's the bank holiday weekend and secondly, this is one of the best after-parties that the Notting Hill Carnival has had the pleasure of offering - so why let the fact that it's on a Sunday get in the way? E.T.A. parties promise a great crowd, cheap booze and some hardcore music. With Staton Warriors and Gold Fish both doing live sets and Riva Starr, named 'dance music's future star' by Q mag, also gracing the decks, there’s no reason to head to bed early tonight.

Time: 8pm-5am
Place: The Forum, 17 Highgate Road, NW5 1JY
Cost: £20 adv, £25 door
Info: ETA Carnival Afterparty
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UJ Daydreaming with James Lavelle
Unlike their moonlit cousins, daydreams can be whatever you want them to be – so spent the day in a creative stupor with British musical outfit UNKLE’s James Lavelle at this mini-exhibit connecting music and art. He’s roped in the likes of fashion designers Boudicca, perfumer Azzi Glasser’s, as well as Nathan Coley, Dan Glasser and Simon Birch, given them each a track to listen to, and combined the results under one awe-inspiring roof. You won’t need to count sheep tonight.

Time: 10am-6pm
Place: Haunch of Venison, 6 Burlington Gardens, W1S 3ET
Cost: Free
Info: Daydreaming with James Lavelle
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MONDAY
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UJ Carnival Monday
Feeling strong, little UJers? Heading into Tuesday’s work maelstrom with a refreshed mind? Then please, allow us to addle your brains with Paradise’s post-Carnival party, doubling as The Count & Sinden’s ‘Mega Mega’ album launch. Expect Fake Blood, Mystery Jets and DJ sets from Jamie XX tonight. Paracetamol at the ready. Good moooooorning sunshine!

Time: 12pm-2am
Place: The Paradise, 19 Kilburn Lane, W10 4AE
Cost: £5
Info: Carnival Monday
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UJ The Tempest
What better way to spend a relaxing bank holiday Monday evening than watching a bit of dramatic Shakespearean action in the beautiful surroundings of Hampton Court Palace’s gardens? Tonight is the last performance of this summer run – we’re just hoping the weather doesn’t mimic the title.

Time: 7:30pm
Place: Hampton Court Palace, East Molesey, KT8 9AU
Cost: £20
Info: The Tempest

RESERVED
This week’s hottest foodie destination

Tinello
A Tuscan treat in Pimlico

87 Pimlico Road, SW1W 8PH - 020 7730 3663
www.tinello.co.uk

Location
Pimlico can get a bad rap for being posh but, personally, I like its slightly starched and discreet foodie charm so was excited that this newcomer was filling the space L’Incontro once occupied.

Vibe
Max and Federico Sali, the brothers behind the restaurant, both worked with Giorgio Locatelli for ten years (Signore L and his wife, Plaxy, are backing their new project) so they have a fair amount of know-how between them to make this little place work; Tinello means the dining area in a family kitchen and that’s about the size of the place – just 45 covers.

Flavours
You could do very nicely on a selection of the small plates prepared by chef Federico – soft-textured salami, chicken livers and summer truffle on toast (at just £1.90) and burrata and tomato bread – but you’d be missing out on one of the best ricotta (and Swiss chard) ravioli I’ve ever had (possibly down to the utterly buttery sauce) and a cracking brill with borlotti beans and clams which transported me to the Tuscan coast. Max was formerly head wine-buyer at Locanda Locatelli so it’s reassuring being in his large, expert hands.

Décor
There’s bare brickwork and chicken wire cupboards – so far, so rustic – but low-hanging workshop-chic lighting gives the place a contemporary edge and a restful, almost cinematic atmosphere – think The Godfather, in a good way, not a horse’s head in your bed way.

Upshot
Well-positioned tables, low-lighting, warm service, ‘fatto in casa’-tasting food and reasonable prices for this area (no pasta was over £10 the night we visited) make this a most welcoming spot.

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Weekend guide by MaM Restaurant Review by SL.
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