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Weekend Guide
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We don’t know about you, but we’re already feeling the effects of the Mad March Hare. Lady Gaga’s giving birth to alien species in her new Born This Way video. Galliano’s left Dior just as Paris Fashion Week kicks off. And somehow Heston’s gone from serving Dinner to thinking synthetic sperm would be a good idea at your local Cineworld. WTF? Bringing back a little sanity this weekend, we have a club launch that aims to put Vegas to shame, weird goings-on in a woodland cabin, a disappearing dinner dance and some 70’s soft core porn. OK, so not quite so normal then. Now, where’s our unicorn...

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• FRI In a Forest Dark and Deep • SAT Bang The Box • SUN Pioneers of the Downtown Scene

TONIGHT
Proud 2 Launch Night

If you missed our feature this week, here’s a quick reminder. Matter has risen from its ashes as the Proud Collective’s third venue, and it’s got a corker of a launch night planned. The space has been decked out Vegas-style and you don’t have to worry about hiking out to Greenwich anymore either – as they’re providing dedicated Routemasters in and out of town. As for the line-up, it includes Mystery Jets, Friendly Fires, Horse Meat Disco – and of course it wouldn’t be a party without a set from Henry Holland. We kid we kid. Still, it’ll be fun. Last one on the bus is sooooooo last season.

The O2, Peninsular Square, SE10 0DY , 8:45pm-3am. Tickets from £5 – advance sold out, released on the door after 9pm and 11pm.

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FRIDAY
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THEATRE: In a Forest Dark and Deep
Where Matthew Fox is concerned, we already know what lies in a forest dark and deep. Polar bears, whirling smoke monsters and hatches you should under no circumstances go down. Oh wait, this isn’t LOST? Proving that he did indeed get off the island, everyone’s favourite doctor is now headlining in Neil LaBute’s (of The Wicker Man) play about sibling rivalry and secrets that just won’t stay hidden. And we’re not talking reoccurring lottery numbers.

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Time: 7:30pm
Place: Vaudeville Theatre, 404 Strand, WC2R 0NH
Cost: £35.50-£39
Info: In a Forest Dark and Deep
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NIGHTLIFE: Love Machine
We can’t say we think there’s anything wrong with a bit of unabashed pop appreciation – and nobody does it like Love Machine. And speaking of the Girls Aloud tune (alright, alright; cover), their own record label, Fascination Records, will be taking to the decks to give you everything from Robyn to Rihanna and Kylie to Katy Perry tonight. What will the neighbours say?

Time 9pm-2am
Place: Concrete, 56 Shoreditch High Street, E1 6JJ
Cost: Free before 10pm, £5 after
Info: Love Machine
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YELL
Sponsored Listing
Win the ultimate home entertainment system

If you’ve been inspired by Yell’s ad featuring Day V Lately searching for a copy of his track Pulse and Thunder why not do a little treasure hunting of your own?

There's £10,000 worth of home entertainment equipment up for grabs, including 3D TV, surround system, decks, mixing lessons and more.

To be in with a chance of winning the lot, all you need to do is find one of ten copies of Day V Lately’s record ‘Pulse and Thunder’, which have been stashed in independent music stores across the UK. Your nearest participating store on yell.com or Yell’s Mobile app will have an image of the ‘Pulse and Thunder’ vinyl as their profile pic. Once you’ve found that, head on over to the store and take a picture of yourself holding the record sleeve. Upload it to Facebook, caption it ‘Yell’, and they’ll do the rest. You have until midnight on Sunday March 6th to be in with a chance of winning, so hop to it! There’s also a daily prize per store of £50 vouchers, so make sure you don’t miss out! Terms and conditions apply,

Visit Facebook.com/yell

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SATURDAY
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NIGHTLIFE: Bang the Box
Can’t wait for Lovebox this summer? Get a head start on the party with this, the first of two Bang the Box 'speaker melting pop up parties’ they’re throwing for determined dance fans. The main room will be overseen by Ed Banger Records, whilst the second party features favourites Night Slugs, RA’s Nov 2010 ‘Label of the Month’. And now the line-up’s out for July with Robyn, Snoop, Scissor Sisters, The Wombats, Kelis and The Drums on the roster, we’re raring to go.

Time: 9pm – 3am
Place: XOYO, 32 Cowper Street, EC2A 4AP
Cost: £10
Info: Bang the Box
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EAT: Disappearing Dining Club Dinner Dance
Finally, a place where you can eat and party all in one spot without the downer of a cab ride in between. This whenever-they-fancy-it event features a 5 course meal (think confit quail leg, celeriac and caramelised apple, whole freshwater kingfish and black forest terrine with wine pairings) and post-prandial partying with live acoustic performers – all under Clerkenwell Green’s refurbed railway arches. Catch it while you can.

Time: 7:30pm
Place: Under the Arches, 22-26 Farringdon Lane, EC1R 3AJ
Cost: £55, dance only: £10
Info: Disappearing Dining Club Dinner Dance

COMPETITION
Win one of three Samsung Wave II Handsets

Calling all photography fans! Have you heard about the Samsung Wave II? It’s a sleek new smartphone with an AMAZING camera. And we have three to give away to you lucky people! The Samsung Wave II camera comes with a creative editing suite so you can turn any standard snap into a masterpiece, or make your photos even brighter by using its colour boost function. To be in with a chance of winning you know the drill – get onto our FACEBOOK page, give us the thumbs up and tell us why you need a new phone!

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SHOP
Mr. Bathing Ape

It’s hardly a secret that we’re fans of Nigo’s brand – but when we saw the new Mr.Bathing Ape collection on Mr Porter (this is turning into a Mr Men number isn’t it...), we couldn’t resist. For men who like their tailoring with a little streetwear wit, it’s time to invest in cotton shirts, three-piece suits, camo ties and our favourites; leather loafers featuring the brand’s moustache insignia.

£450.

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SUNDAY
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OTHER: Wet Sounds
So it’s not quite swimsuit season yet, but dip a toe in tonight with this fun-sounding musical concept. Speakers will play different kinds of music above and below the water, Ryan Styles will be doing scuba drag, and it’ll all culminate in the world premiere of electronic-music pioneer Pierre Henry’s specially created composition. You can choose whether you want to dive in or stick to the sides. Either way, it’ll whet your appetite for summer.

Time: 8:45pm
Place: York Hall Pool, 5 Old Fort Road, E2 2PJ
Cost: £27
Info: Wet Sounds
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ART: Pioneers of the Downtown Scene
Whilst UJ fave Fatsarazzi is busy doing his solo thing over at Kingly Court’s Lava Gallery with photography exhibit ‘Women’ bordering on 70’s soft porn (3rd-9th March if you’re interested), the Barbican’s taking the era a little more high brow. Head there to check out downtown New York through the eyes of performance artist and musician Laurie Anderson, choreographer Trisha Brown and artist Gordon Matta-Clark.

Time: 11am-8pm
Place: Barbican, Silk Street,
EC2Y 8DS
Cost: £10
Info: Pioneers of the
Downtown Scene

HEAD’S UP
Under The Bridge

The trolls are about to get some company – or else the WAGs are going to get a shock, as Roman Abramovich gets set to launch his very own £20 million nightclub, ‘Under the Bridge’, under the East stand of Chelsea Football Stadium this Monday. Apparently it won’t be entirely restricted to players and their partners, with the venue even offering up its (rumoured) hydraulic stage and waterfall for this summer’s ‘BluesFest’. So you might have to wait until June to mingle post-match, but at least you’ll have plenty of time to work on your permatan.

Fulham Road, SW6 1HS

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Weekend guide by MaM
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