Originally published on Wednesday, 2nd July 2008
Twelve days of raw food will, the Raw Fairies assure me, change my life. Delivered every morning in brown paper bags, an array of fruit, veg, and sprouted items I never knew existed arrive blended, mashed, and liquefied for my pleasure, along with a cacophony of purifying pills. As a fan of the three Cs (Chocolate, Cheese, Carbs) I'm sceptical. And scared.
I actually felt alive this morning. Like, flesh and blood alive. There was a slight incident around lunchtime at Marks, but I’ve learned to never leave the office at lunchtime again: there’s food everywhere.
Actually, there’s food everywhere all the time. I can’t watch TV anymore – even the adverts make me salivate. At M&S, I went for the grapes – well done me – before slipping a pack of double chocolate biscuits into my basket without even realizing it. I managed literally one mouthful before storming back to the office and dumping the rest in Addie’s lap. It didn’t feel right. B*llocks.
Hello, my name is Martina, and now they’ve stolen my chocolate. Is nothing sacred?
It’s the weekend, hooray! Oh wait… apparently it’s a liquid weekend. And not the kind I usually go for. No less than 6 drinks arrived in the bag this morning, complete with the usual bundle of pills and a straw. Top tip – sucking anything through a straw manages to avoid the majority of one’s tastebuds and makes even wretched green juice almost manageable.
Green juice. Many many green juices. And beetroot juice. By the gallon.
Apparently beetroot makes things go red. Who knew? And by things I mean everything. I thought my kidneys had exploded, and hastily called home for reassurance. Apart from my distinct lack of nutritional knowledge, this clearly raises some questions about my emergency priority call list. Kidney explosion: 1) Call Mum; 2) Call best friend, have a natter; 3) Call 999.
Hello, my name is Martina, and I’m seeing red.
Raw Faires - 12 Day Transformation Cleanse