Articles
Originally published on Tuesday, 9th June 2009
Fight Club
Thanks to my height it is often assumed I would be awesome in a fight. Which I’m not. In a fight or flight situation, I’m additionally stuffed by my total reticence to run anywhere for any reason. Apart from being a mugger’s fantasy, I am the embodiment of all bark and no bite.
Which is why I loved The Apprentice – Britain’s brightest minds battling it out for Suralan’s approval of cereal-bandit ‘Pantsman’, culminating in boardroom b*llocks which sent Margaret’s eyebrow scuttling for cover in her hairline. Now I’m watching Big Brother wannabes strive for sleb status by tying themselves in grammatically incorrect knots for the Summer.
Seems we're fighting with everything but our fists nowadays. If it's not Proud's 'Style Wars' which saw contestants create off-the-cuff couture, it's tonight's Soundclash Championships, a battle where celebrity-ish DJs including Henry Holland, !WOWOW!'s Matthew Stone, Girlcore's party-grrls, and stylist du jour Nova Dando are armed with nothing more than their MP3 players and their fierce selection skills to invoke the roars of the crowd.
Tooth and nail? More like hair flicks and catty comebacks. Which suits me just fine.
Soundclash Championships, 8pm – 2am, Bloomsbury Ballroom, WC1B. £15.
