Articles
Originally published on Tuesday, 14th July 2009
Is it a terrible idea to talk about sex on a first date? I mean, really talk about sex. And potentially use the word strap-on…
Look, it made sense at the time, 4 hours and 6 glasses of wine down, us both slumped across the bar. And strap-on sounds much more threatening taken out of context and plonked into print. Post-date, a text announced it was a first encounter he’d always remember. Wonder why. I wouldn’t forget the loose-lipped blonde either. And believe me, I’ve tried.
Producer boy was tall, good looking, and funny. We laughed, discussed travel, taxes and TV, bemoaned Murray’s loss and toasted MJ. Beats the bloke who called me ‘Blondie’ and told me to ‘shut up’ because ‘you’re fit, so you don’t need to talk.’ Seriously.
Functioning as that acquaintance with fabulous single friends we all wish we had, Just Courting aims to set singletons up with potential partners after a meeting with an introductions agent, where you’ll discuss your wants, needs, and non-negotiables with ex-headhunters over a cup of coffee. They then trawl their database and try and make you a match.
I loved that someone sensible was taking the selection-button out of my own, admittedly unreliable and (I’m told) too-picky hands. Date, location, time, all sorted via emails from a rather lovely personal agent. Like a dating concierge that delivers men instead of directions.
I didn’t love not knowing what he looked like, as it’s really hard not to sound like a w*nker trying to make yourself identifiable via text without resorting to old school red roses and newspapers. My date’s attempt? “I’m the dwarf with three fingers dressed as Ali G. Or I might be the tall bloke in a green t-shirt. The suspense will kill you.” Oh God.
But most of all, I want to know what he wrote on his feedback form. Oh yes, it’s petty, but like the note passed around at school which mysteriously skips your desk, the not knowing is torturous. And let’s face it, being told a straight yes or no is (at least in my opinion) much more bearable than the week-long head-f*ck I’ve spent debating sending a witty/casual/interesting text and waiting for some kind of contact. Just Courting know precisely whether I can expect to get a second date or not via one tiny, taunting tease of a tickbox. But they’re not telling.
I kind of get it. The ‘hands-off’ post date approach makes sure the agents don’t become agony-aunts. I wouldn’t want to get involved in other people’s emotional dilemmas every time they come off an unsuccessful date or get thrust into communication no-man’s land. But let’s be honest – most of us do invest, even just a tiny bit, in a romantic encounter and as such, there’s likely to be fall-out.
Maybe I need to take a more hard-nosed approach. As my favourite gay girlfriend says, “I don’t invest unless there’s going to be a return.” Or I could just man up and text the guy myself. After all, my phone’s predictive text is unlikely to recognise the kind of words that probably made him disappear in the first place.
Just Courting: 7/10.
Reckon you’ve got a better service?
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to set up our singleton.
Just Courting: Joining Fee and initial meeting: £55
Membership £195 for three months.
