Confused about just where you should be spending your billions?

It seems the super rich have a new plaything: the lifestyle consultant.

While concierge services (SO last year, darling) may have offered PA service to those who were too, um, busy to book their own flights and restaurants, lifestyle consultants really take it to a new level : they tell you where you should be flying and dining, as well as what you should be wearing, reading and listening to.

These new social gurus have also taken on a kind of Dr Higgins/Eliza Doolittle role for the newly coined, making them a favourite among footballers and those dismal Nouveaux. Earning £100,000 a day isn't going to get you an entree into society or the respect of the Heat-reading public. But hire on a former fashion journalist (hint, hint) or interiors expert, give them a wad of cash and free reign to 'curate your lifestyle' and, voila, a life of class and taste.

Dinner reservations at London's hippest new restaurant? Check.

Burberry tearaway trousers and matching cap? Binned.

Tiffany's or antique diamonds for your new lady? Both. Duh!?