Only 33 days left until Valentine's Day (yes, we're on to the next holiday already).

Deep breath, gentlemen. PUT down that mobile! I'm sorry to have to break this to you, but you are WELL past the pre-Valentine's day girlfriend-chucking sell-by date.

Frankly, if you haven't jumped ship yet, you're in it for the flowers, dinner, AND stroking her hair until morning. Trying to get out now "because the big game is on"? Unacceptable.

Same goes for flu, mum's sick, leg fell off and "not really into a relationship right now". Foolish young girls might fall for the "I'm not really sure about my sexuality" line, but any woman who's been around the block a few times knows that, in these testing times, a gay date is better than no date on V day. (By the way: Dean, you busy? I'll buy.)

But ladies, let's say the worst happens. He bails. He shuts his phone off. He shags your best friend in attempt to get out of the Nobu date YOU booked. (True story. Smuck.) It's best to have a back up plan, right? And while that sniveling ogre from IT might seem like a good idea in a blind panic, we at Urban Junkies have a better idea.

With the help of a few photographs, the toy-making geniuses at Herobuilders - a toy making enterprise out of Connecticut - can create an action figure replica of your boyfriend. The cost? Less than the two Relate appointments he missed last month.

Now if only they'd come up with a life-size, anatomically correct version, we'd all be sorted.