There are few positives to be taken from a Tube ride, but one of them is the fact that people generally keep their bleedin' gobs shut, which makes today's, ahem, blessed event - 'Tube Chat Day '06' - all the more misguided.

Apart from the fresh hell of introducing mobile phone coverage on the Tube, I can think of nothing more teeth-grindingly annoying than two London ingenues spotting each other's "I'm Up For a Chat on the Tube" badges, and striking up a loud, dimwitted conversation about how unfriendly London is ("only to people like you, arsehole!).

These are the sort of people who routinely describe Londoners as unfriendly, but have rarely met anyone who's actually born and bred in London.