The Internet wires are alight with the news that Facebook staff can monitor who we look at and even mess with our profiles. Rumour has it, a certain bitter employee broke into a "friend's" account and changed the profile image to something a little, well, pervy. Hell hath no fury like a jilted geek, it seems.

I, like most women I know, live in abject fear that Facebook will launch a tracking device. That will be the day I move to Siberia, rather than be outed publicly for the stalker I am. Knowing my luck, the tracking program will be able to list historically, meaning that even if I'm long over a crush, I'll still have to deal with the white hot shame.

Certain friends of mine have discussed "swapping" targets (as in, I'll stalk yours if you stalk mine), but I think that is just a band-aid solution. When the day of Facebook Reckoning comes, we'll all be red-faced.