Don't you just hate it when your gay best friend buggers off and finds a partner.

No more long drunken dinners, or dancing to Backstreet Boys at G-A-Y, or, more importantly, "platonic sleepovers" where he's too drunk to know that those aren't pecks he's cupping so lovingly.

What's a girl to do? Get a pet, that's what. No ladies, not that kind of pet. Most of us have put THAT bunny out to pasture (vile vibrating beast).

No, I'm talking about the real live pet that will cover you in wet sloppy kisses, even when you are wearing your old orange tracky bottoms. In fact, ESPECIALLY when you are wearing those vile orange tracky bottoms.

But until that fateful day when you properly give up dating and go pick up a life partner at the Battersea Dog Home (I'll be there Saturday, natch), you'll have to make do with this fabulous "Dress Your Dog Gay" website.

While we love the handlebar moustaches, we question the grapevine drop earrings, no? Bitch.