Indian take-out: the late-night companion of solitary singles, city boozers and pissed partiers. Next time you wake with the guilt of having indulged in a twilight tasting, alleviate your conscience knowing you've done a body good.

Why? Turmeric - better known to you as the yellow in Indian curry - is creating world-wide patent problems as medical firms fight to claim this multi-functional, antediluvian remedy as their own.

What's with all the hype? To espouse only a few of its benefits, curcuma longalinn (turmeric's scientific name) claims to: strengthen teeth, reduce cholesterol, ward of crocodiles, plug radiator leeks, eradicate pimples and, potentially, treat cancer. Last time we checked, a pepperoni pizza couldn't do all that.

Conclusive results are pending, but we say: use this time to properly indulge. If a daily curry doesn't fit into your caloric consumption, try oral supplements. Or rub on curcuma-infused cosmetics and wait for supple skin.

Brick Lane, here we come.